Hey everyone. Welcome back to Rat Race Stories of Addiction and Recovery. I'm your host, az, and today's episode is one that I've been thinking about for quite some time, a few years now. It's called Punjabi Professional Powerless. This one's for the high achievers, the community leaders, and the eldest sons.

The eldest daughters . Breadwinners, the ones. Who were taught to never show weakness. It's for anyone who's ever felt like they had to choose between cultural pride or personal peace. In the Punjabi culture, especially men and and women, there's a role we're expected to play. You're strong, you're successful, you're the provider.

You provide. You don't cry, you don't complain. You don't ask for help. That's a big one, and you definitely don't talk about addiction. Alcohol is everywhere. It's the toast at weddings, the comfort at funerals, the bonding agent at family dinners. And it's not just a drink. It's never just a drink. It's a symbol, a rite of passage, a badge of masculinity.

So when you're struggling, when that drink becomes a crutch instead of a celebration, there's no language for it. There's no safe space. You're just weak or worse, shameful. I lived it. I lived in that silence for years. Now you're a professional. Uh, I was the guy who showed up early LED meetings, cracked some jokes, delivered results, podcast host, standup storyteller, whatever.

Right? And, and I was high functioning and, but I was also drinking in secret numbing. In silence, performing in public while unraveling in private. And the worst part, I didn't even know how to ask for help because I didn't want to lose the image, the respect, the role I built. So I kept going until I couldn't.

There was a DMA dramatic crash, you can call it rock bottom. Um, just a quiet moment too as well. I was alone staring at my reflection after a long night and asked myself, is this who I want to be? And the answer was no. And that was the beginning. Recovery didn't start. With quitting drinking. It started with reclaiming my voice, with naming the silence, with changing the script I'd been handed, it meant saying, yo, I am Punjab professional and I'm allowed to be vulnerable.

Let's zoom out for a moment. In October, 2025, a study published in JAMA Oncology revealed that more than half of North Americans adults don't know that alcohol increases the risk of cancer. That's right. Despite de decades of research, most people still don't realize that alcohol is a group one carcinogen right up there with tobacco and asbestos.

And here's the kicker, the people least likely to know this are the ones who drink the most. This hit me hard because in our communities, alcohol isn't just normalized, it's glorified, it's put up on a pedestal. It's, it's the centerpiece of celebration, masculinity, and the status. But what if we're celebrating something that's quietly harming us?

Canada's updated alcohol guidelines now recommend no more than two drinks per week to minimize health risks. Two drinks per week. That's a massive shift from the old two drinks a day standard. And it sparked a lot of debate, especially in cultures like ours, where drinking is woven into the fabric of social life.

F Look, I'm not here to tell you anyone what to do, but I am here to ask what's the cost of silence? Think about it. What's the cost of pretending you're fine when you're not? What's the cost of calling it just a drink? 'cause let's be real. It's never just a drink. It. Recovery in Punjabi communities isn't about sobriety.

It's about cultural healing. It's about breaking cycles of silence. It's about creating spaces where we can talk about trauma, grief, pressure, and shame. It's about redefining masculinity, not as stoic and invincible, but as honest and whole. I had conversations with uncles and aunties who never spoke about their pain.

I've, I've seen aunties quietly support their sons without ever naming the struggle. I've watched young men drown in expectations they never agreed to. We need new language, new rituals, and new stories 'cause that's how people heal when we project our experiences onto one, one another. That's why this podcast exists.

Let's talk about what silence costs us. It costs us connection. It costs us health, it costs us joy. When we don't talk about addiction, we don't heal from it. We pass it on. We normalize it. We bury it in jokes and rituals and routines. I used to think I was protecting my family by hiding my struggle, but what I was really doing was isolating myself and reinforcing the same stigma I wanted to break today.

Recovery looks like say no to the drink at a wedding and not feeling guilty about it, and laughing with my team without needing alcohol to loosen up. Both at work and at home. I have two teams hosting this podcast and telling the truth, being present with my family, my parents, my three sisters, and not just physically, but emotionally, reclaiming my mornings, my clarity, my peace.

It's not perfect. It's not linear. It never will be, but it's mine and it's a lifelong process, and it's peaceful. If you're listening to this, you feel like you're functioning but not flourishing, I want you to know you're not alone. You're not broken. You're just tired, and there's a way forward. You don't have to crash to change, and you don't have to lose everything to reclaim yourself.

You don't have to be perfect to be worthy of peace. You just have to pause and ask yourself, and you have to pause to ask to speak. If this episode resonated with you, I invite you to support the show. You can visit our website at www.ratracepodcast.com, or click the link in the description to learn more, share your story, or make a contribution to help us keep these conversations going.

Your support helps us reach more people, build more resources, and challenge more silence. Until next time, take care of yourself. And remember, you don't have to choose between culture and pride.  📍 And remember, you don't have to choose between cultural pride and personal peace. You deserve both.