📍  📍  📍 Hey everyone. Welcome back to Rat Race Stories of Addiction and Recovery. I'm your host, uh, uh, az,  and today's episode is one I've been sitting with for a while. It's called, uh, high Functioning Low Peace,   📍  📍 and this one's for anyone who's ever looked like they had it all together,  like on paper, in meetings, in family photos, um,   📍 but felt like they were quietly falling apart inside.

If that's you, I see you and I've been there. 

The Illusion of High Functioning

Let me take you back to a time when I was at my peak   📍  📍 career-wise, I was leading teams,  delivering presentations,  cracking jokes that actually landed. And I was the guy people came to for clarity, for energy, uh, for answers. Um,  and yet every evening I was pouring myself a drink. 

Not to celebrate,  not to unwind,  but to escape.  I told myself, I'm fine.   📍  📍 I'm functioning. I'm not missing work. I'm not hurting anyone. But what I didn't realize was that I was trading peace for performance,   📍  📍 and the cost was stacking up. There's a kind of burnout that doesn't come with flames. It, it just smolders.

Uh,  you wake up tired,  you smile through meetings,  you produce,  you perform, but inside you hollow. I remember driving home from work, stuck in traffic on, on, on one of the bridges, um, thinking, you know,  I should feel proud. Uh,   📍  📍 I should feel fulfilled. But all I felt was numb. And the only thing I looked forward to was that first drink.

That's the thing about high functioning addiction.   📍  📍 It's sneaky it, it rewards you for showing up while quietly eroding your spirit. 

Cultural Pressures and Hidden Struggles

 Now, add culture to the mix.   📍  📍 And Punjabi communities success is sacred.  You don't just work,  you hustle.  You don't just provide  you overdeliver. You're supposed to,  and you definitely don't talk about addiction.

No, that's wrong.   📍 Alcohol is woven into celebration, into grief, into masculinity. It's the toast at weddings, the comfort at funerals, and the rite of passage at every milestone.  So when you're struggling,  it's hard to even name it,  let alone challenge it.  I wasn't just hiding from my colleagues,  I was hiding from my culture,  from my family,  from myself. 

The Turning Point

So what changed?   📍  📍  it wasn't a dramatic crash,  it was a quiet moment.  I was alone staring at my reflection after a long night and I asked myself, is this piece, is this what I want?  And the answer was no.  And that was the beginning. Uh,   📍  📍 

Redefining Success and Recovery

recovery didn't start with quitting drinking.  It started with redefining success  with asking, what does peace look like for me?

It meant slowing down. It meant being honest. It meant letting go of the image, choose it. It, it meant letting go of the image and choosing integrity. I still work hard.  I still show up. I still show up and suit up or what's the saying? Suit up and show up.  But now I do it with clarity and a lot more compassion for myself. 

Here's what I know.   📍  📍 You don't have to crash to change.  You don't.  You don't have to lose everything to reclaim yourself,  and you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of peace. You have it. You just gotta find it and use it. Like 

Final Thoughts and Call to Action

if you're listening to this and you feel like you're functioning but not flourishing,   📍  📍 I want you to know that you're not alone,  you're not broken,  you're just tired, and,  and there is a way forward.

Everyone.   📍 If this episode resonated with you,  I invite you to support the show.  You can visit our website at www.ratracepodcast.com to learn more. You can share your story or make a contribution to help us keep these conversations going. Um, and tell next time, take care of yourself. And remember, peace isn't a luxury.

It's, it's a right and you have it.